Table of Contents (this page)
- Stage 1. The Big Cheese (BC). (5A)
- Stage 2. Power and Control (P&C). (5B)
- Defining domination, Power and Control (P&C). (5.10)
- The differences between P&C and BC? (5.11)
- Are P&C and TISP/Love the same or different? (5.12)
- Fathers. (5.14)
- It’s a double-bind. (5.15)
- Where do our teachings come from? (5.16)
- Why list the P&C attributes out? (5.17)
- And an anti-P&C list would be? (5.18)
- Conclusion so far. (5.19)
- Adulation and worship.
- The worship of money and technology. (5.23)
- The first commandment? (5.25)
- The 10 commandments. (5.26)
- ‘Believe-ins’ as a form of control. (5.27)
- Stage 3. Despising. (5C)
- The Medusa. (5.28)
- Sacred and sacrilegious; using and abusing/exploiting. (5.29)
- Sacred. (5.30)
- Respect? (5.31)
- The differences between respect, worship and sacred. (5.33)
- ‘Thinging and abusing. (5.34)
- Despising leads to abuse. (5.35)
- Confusion. (5.36)
- The Medusa in normal life. (5.37)
- Monsters can happen. (5.38)
- Conclusion to Chapter 5. (5.41)
Introduction to Part II, Wanting. (5.1)
chapter 5 is the first of 4 chapters in Part II. Wanting.
What do we human beings actually want?
This part is about what we are humans are essentially wanting, and how and why we try to get it .
Part II has 4 chapters in it, chapters 5-8. Chapter 5 is about how we use our minds to feel ‘bigger’. Chapter 6 is about what our social understandings have to say for coping with our lives, with the implications in their instructions of what to do about it; Chapter 7 looks at those things we want so much to be rid of, and Chapter 8 is about what our deepest desires might be.
So, here we are on Earth, Exploring and Expressing, but what are we looking for? What do we actually want? We don’t know and are not at all sure about what our religions tell us either, since most of that looks and sounds like a pack of threats, such as ‘be good or else’. We get told that ‘Love is the Answer’, but that begs the question of what is Love? If God is Love, what’s the bit about ‘you’re here on Earth ‘cos you’ve been bad’, since we consider most religions to be basically saying that ‘once you’re good you can escape’??
This section looks at the things we wish for and yearn for, as well as the things that we already do, in an effort to establish what it is that we are really looking for at the deepest level. The whole point being that if we can find out what that is, and it coincides with what we are ‘supposed to do’ in terms of our religious teachings, then it’s highly likely that we are on the right track, because if they are the same, then we don’t need coercion at all. There is no point whatsoever in trying to force someone into peace, joy or happiness. It just doesn’t happen. Hence there has to be some ultimate reward that draws us to correct use of our energy for our own sake, and it has to be on earth, not off it. Also, if we’re on the right track, there are likely to be signposts on the way that we could understand and use for ourselves.
Whenever we don’t know the answers to such questions, the first thing we look at is what we actually do, because that is what we have ‘to hand’, so to speak, and that ‘answer’ seems to be that we want to be ‘bigger’, and we also seem to want to ‘be like God’. So, what do these mean? Are these the same thing in essence or are they different? What might this ‘bigness’ be, and what does God do that we can be like?
The child wants to grow up to be like its parents, whom it considers to be gods anyway and the adult wants to feel ‘bigger’ too. So, this is our first point of enquiry. What is this ‘bigness’ about? Do we want to be ‘big’ so that we might have control? We don’t know what ‘being like God’ is, or feels like, but we do seem to want to feel bigger, and more able to do as we wish.
We also have stories about the Garden of Eden, and Heaven, and we envy those able to rest in peace, which we long for, so we need to factor in the wish for these as well. We also need to remember that the part of God wants to be like God because we are built in the same way; we are told that this is the same energy as the child wanting to be like the parent.
So, how does this all work together? Can it? Does it?
Part II, Chapter 5. JUDGING. (5)
“Comparison is the death of joy”. Twain.
Introduction to Chapter 5. (5.2)
We want to be bigger, so, how big do we want to be? Do we want to be as big as God? Well, it looks as though we do, and really, this is the part of God (which we are) wanting to be like God.
We are a part of God as everything on earth is part of God. However, as human beings we are built/equipped in the same manner as God, (’made in the image’) and are capable of doing so, whether consciously or unconsciously. The crux here is that we want very much to be like God, and this was how the snake was able to tempt Adam in the Garden of Eden; “you will be like god(s)”.
This is a very deep want internally, and not necessarily conscious. We want to be like God as the child wants to be like its parents, but just exactly what this goal might look or feel like is something we still search for. And it is precisely because we want it so much that we keep searching for it, on and on. We also get very upset when we consider ourselves unable to find it.
We want to be like God, but we are already ‘like God’ because, like God, our unconscious is already manifesting ‘out there’ all the time. We just haven’t yet worked out how we do it; but we will, by definition.
So, we spend our lives trying to ‘be like God’, and once again, the way our society thinks about these concepts needs to be scrutinized.
As small human children we see adults as having greater control over life and doing life and we hope to do the same. We want to be ‘bigger’. Maybe if we have more control, we’ll have less fear in our lives and as we get bigger, we’ll have more power to get what we want/like and do as we please. Notice also that God doesn’t have to be afraid of anything. So, ‘being like God’ might also get rid of our fears which would be nice. This is called wanting power and control, aka P&C.
Our belief systems tell us that God has power and control over absolutely everything and can do as He pleases, which looks like ‘fate’ to us ‘littlies’, and supposedly for our own good (sure!). This is what we are taught and this is what we think being ‘bigger’ will get us. But is this what we really want?
So, how do we decide ‘bigger’? We look around and compare all the time according to what society tells us we should consider. And because we are comparing and judging all the time about what’s bigger and better, as well as what’s not, I shall refer to this as the Superiority/Inferiority Caper because it’s a dance, or Sup/Inf for short.
The Superiority/Inferiority Caper.
Other labels for Superiority would be Self-Importance and Pride/Vanity, while for Inferiority, Self-Pity and poor to low self-esteem or not good enough (NGE) could be used. All of them depending on degree, of course.
The Sup/Inf Caper has 3 stages.
- The Big Cheese (BC)
- Power and Control (P&C)
- Despising
Stage 1. The Big Cheese (BC). (5A)
Defining the Big Cheese (BC). (5.3)
- I’m perfect – nothing’s wrong with me; it’s only everyone else.
- I am superior – I have what you want and don’t have (= you are inferior). I don’t need anything from you and you have nothing to teach/show me.
- I am an expert here because I am right. Hang upon my words.
- I am naturally beautiful, intelligent, clever, athletic, entertaining, wealthy, famous, ‘well-born’, powerful, successful, talented, expert, spiritual, ‘caring’, ‘noble’, worthy, charismatic, privileged, charming and lucky. (choose 1 or more.) It’s a pity you’re not. (Add more words to the list as you see fit.)
- You may notice me and admire me; and you’re a bit stupid if you don’t. Worship/adulation would be even better.
- You should want to be like me and if you do as I tell you, you might get to where I am (but, of course, you never will).
What is Big Cheesing? (5.4)
It is a perpetual competition or comparison. Doing this requires watching ‘out there’ while judging and keeping track. Is that other person more in line with my concepts of better or worse? If I win, I am superior and you (the other) are inferior, as in, you just lost that one.
When I win, I can feel bigger or inflated and more satisfied with myself; I have greater Self-Importance and feel proud of myself. If I lose, I feel smaller or deflated and feel sorry for myself, viz, Self-Pity, (’poor me’) and may feel envious or ashamed, etc. We are perpetually looking for a greater estimation of ourselves.
Our society regards this business of watching others while judging all the time as part of how we live. It’s ‘normal’ and it’s how we goad ourselves to achieve/conform (or not), but notice that plenty of people haven’t had to personally ‘achieve’ the status that society gives them; they have been born with these desirable attributes.
What’s wrong with it? (5.5)
It’s a ‘looking out there’; a focus on the external world, and a wanting of energy (the notice and the admiration) from ‘out there’. As you look ‘out there’ and want from that direction, your energy is actually flowing out of you. “Energy flows where attention goes”. And you will need more energy coming in, somehow.
- Equality flies out the window.
- You are judging the other, hence you are also judging your InSelf (ML = Mirror Laws), because your InSelf = ‘the other’.
- It’s based on appearance alone, particularly if ‘out there’ is an entertainer; very little to do with actual character, personality or actions/deeds/behaviour over time that would contribute to the growth of ‘the other’, ie, Serve or Give Life.
- There is no end to it; there are and always will be those who are bigger or ‘better’, or those who are smaller and ‘worse’, and even then, different societies have different ideas on what ‘bigger’ or ‘better’ etc. would be. Ideas about what’s ‘better’ or ‘worse’ even have different fashions over time.
- It promotes envy and jealousy, (great bedtime companions).
But, essentially, we have a great fear of being unseen, unheard, not counting and of no matter, as in, ‘no-thing’. Again, if I don’t count or I feel like nothing, do I exist? The ‘be like me’ part is wanting influence in our world. I call this fear that of being a ghost in our society, and deal with it in greater detail in chapter 7c.
The B.C. part is the looking out there and the wanting of energy from out there. The admiration part is the giving of energy to another. It’s all still comparison and judgement, however.a
Admiration. (5.6)
So, what about admiration and what’s wrong with that?
Admiration is a kind of approval of another for whatever reason. Generally, that person is perceived as having attributes we value as worthwhile. But, an odd thing with admiration is the feeling that if we give it to someone, we’ll get some back, but this is not necessarily so at all. Film stars do not admire their fans. Gratitude possibly; admiration, no.
Another odd thing is that it can make the admired reliant/dependent on the admirer. Also, admiration has little to nothing to do with actual relationship, no matter what we think.
However, there are plenty of admirable people who are not dependent upon your or anyone’s admiration. Choose one and emulate; ie, use them as a model for yourself, if that’s what you would like.
Projection. (5.7)
A really strange thing is that if I admire some attribute in another, it is actually already in me, but I am probably unable to recognize it. This is called projection, which see below. Thus, if you are part of a ‘fan club’ you can use this phenomenon of projection to work out just exactly what you are a fan of, viz, what particular attributes/traits of that person are you admiring, as in, what do you value here?
Hence, you could use ‘projection’ to initially identify attributes that you would like to have yourself, and then to work toward understanding how these attributes can be discovered within you, which is very empowering. See goal-setting chapter.
Why list these words out? (5.8)
These B.C. words are listed out so that you can use them to recognize what you or others are doing. If you are doing any of the BC words yourself, the next step is to ask yourself why are you wanting them. What is it that you are wanting and do not have?
An anti-B.C. list would be? (5.9)
These happen to be opposites of the BC list.
- I am good enough (GE) as I am. A novel concept?
- I am myself, (even if I don’t know everything that’s ‘in here’)
- I have abilities and skills which I will continue to explore and develop.
- You may or may not notice or admire me.
- You should be like yourself, (and liking yourself would be a bonus).
Now we go to the 2nd stage of the Superiority/Inferiority Model, which I refer to as Power and Control, (P&C).
Stage 2. Power and Control (P&C). (5B)
Defining domination, Power and Control (P&C). (5.10)
I am Superior to you in whatever manner. You have to do as I tell you, and now I can enforce it.
We give them authority over us and they count, and you don’t.
The person(s) with P&C expects you to…
- Serve them, ie, be useful to them, in a manner defined by them, ie, they do the defining and they have the power. They may ‘pay’ you if you are ‘good’. Accept what you are given, you’re lucky to get anything. You should want to serve them. They can use you for their own purposes without any respect for your needs. This is also known as ‘exploit’.
- Be Dependent on them = they might be nice to you; you might be safe with them.
- Be Obedient to them, ie, do as you are told; not as they do.
- Be Dumb, ie, you are not allowed to speak up; it is not your place; not to mention, you are dumb/stupid/lazy and won’t be listened to anyway.
- Placate them if you offend, ie, you may not know how you have offended and are being blamed, but you will be unsafe until you do, and make sure you don’t do it again, and grovel and flatter a bit while you’re down there. Adulation and worship may help your case. You may, however, find that you don’t really enjoy having to do this; it’s not very good for one’s self-esteem.
- Say Yes to whatever lands on you from above; namely crap from on high. No other options allowed. You are safer if you agree with them.
The differences between P&C and BC? (5.11)
Notice here that the difference is that, with BC, the admired desire(s) the superiority, while with P&C, that person can enforce their ‘highness’. This can be through controlling something that someone else needs, such as money, or through being able to enforce control, or have someone behind them who can enforce it. Examples of this could be a government body (legally) or a gang of thugs (illegally).
Well; so what? This is our current ‘normal’ social model; isn’t this what everybody wants if they can get it? The whole of our media and our expectations are based upon this model. We tend to admire the more powerful, and wish we could have some of that too, and we think we may get some of that by letting them tell us what to do.
So, we consider P&C as normal, or a fact of life, but is this what we really want? Don’t we talk about ‘love’ until we’re blue in the face? Do we want it or not? Can we have both at the same time? What about comparing them? What is their relationship? I’ll use TISP rather than the word ‘Love’ because I have defined it out more specifically.
Are P&C and TISP/Love the same or different? (5.12)
When we want to compare or contrast two concepts, we can set up lists of their qualities. The more qualities we have, the more detail is available to build/define the ‘picture’. (I introduced a list of opposites in Ch.4 on Death to show up the contrast between life and non-life.)
Each line has a concept with an opposite on the same line. These are the contrasts provided by Energy/Life.
If the P&C recipient (peon?) is defined as dominated, dependent, obedient, dumb, placating and so on, it becomes very useful to look at what an opposite of these terms might be.
Table 5B1 of TISP vs. P&C. (5.13)
This table is a comparison of TISP which is doing Love, versus P&C which is energy used to force or control ‘the other’.
LOVE = TISP
Empowered for self |
P&C
Control from others |
Serve InSelf/Life | Servant |
Self-sufficient/Independent | Dependent |
Relate | Obey/Obedient |
Express | Dumb; no voice |
Self-esteem | Placating/Grovel |
Cooperate | Compete/Dominate |
Protected/ ‘Kept’ | Exploited |
Sustained | Drained |
Interest | Ignore |
Equality | ‘you’re joking’ |
Allow | Judge & Expect |
Gives Life | who lives? |
I would imagine that you may have your own opposites to this little list, but what I am trying to point up here is that P&C is the opposite of TISP, so I am trying to show that P&C is not Love in any way, shape or form.
Remember also that as we do P&C to others, so we do this to our InSelf as well (Mirror Laws).
Thus, as soon as you see Judge and Expect sitting in there you will now know that there’s trouble.
I have argued that Merge/Unity requires equality and relationship if there is to be a proper internal partnership for Expression of Self, and there is none of that on the P&C side.
If we want to grow and Flower (see below), we have to have proper Merge.
There’s also no Self-esteem here either (see also below). All in all, very bad news.
Love leads to Serving and giving to Life. P&C leads to un-love and un-life = taking from life; P&C is allergic to Serving.
And yet, P&C is the model for ‘life’ as we know it in our society, and we don’t actually like it very much. [Try asking people if they would actually want another life ‘like this one’.] I consider that this model is killing Life on Earth and us.
Fathers. (5.14)
Another problem with our P&C mode of Life is that our current concept of ‘father’ is also distorted. (There is more on men and women as individuals within our society in Part III.)
For many people their experience of their father is basically….
- Do as you’re told, and be obedient, because I can punish you, because I am bigger and stronger.
- I might love you if you’re good, but you’re supposed to love me all the time.
- I know everything about you so I know if you’re doing the wrong thing. Nor do I intend to discuss it with you to find out your point of view, or whether I have it correct. Of course I’m correct!
- I ‘love’ you, but I’m not that interested in spending time with you or being with you. I’ve got more important things to do. (The I part of TISP is missing here.)
- I have my own ideas about things but I’m not sharing them with you. You’re not big/old enough to understand.
With the problem being that this continues into government and business as well. But that’s what P&C is all about! The P&C list is also true for many men in that they have the greater physical strength and can use force to get what they want, and expect to and do.
It’s a double-bind. (5.15)
The most difficult part of our religions is the concept of ‘believe in God and/or Love, or you’ll go to hell, but God loves you’. Oh!? How very loving, to be sure. This seems to be an absolute threat that people ignore, refuse to consider, rebel against, or turn themselves inside out trying to ‘love God’ so that they can escape Life on Earth which is ‘hell’ to them.
We are being taught that God is Love, as well as doing P&C to us because God has all this P&C. But, Love/TISP and P&C are opposites that cannot be reconciled because it is not possible; they are opposites in Energy. This leaves us trapped in a severe double-bind and ‘trapped’ makes us angry as well as fearful.
We are exhorted to ‘be like God’ and deep down we do want to be like God, but our mainstream religions aren’t helping at all here.
Where do our teachings come from? (5.16)
My argument here is that our basic concepts within our main religions are Spirit’s concepts which discount the Soul, because it doesn’t know it has one. [The differences between spirit and soul are spelled out in Chapter 2.]
These concepts come out of Spirit’s fears about ‘life on earth’ so it tries to ‘jump off’ to feel ‘heavenly’, which is a disengagement/detachment from life. Spirit actually feels forced to be on earth.
Any ‘Spirit only’ teaching will be afraid of life because it (Spirit) is, and thus cannot teach otherwise. It can only teach ‘getting away’ strategies such as, ‘well, actually, we’re meant to be somewhere else’, with earth as the ‘naughty corner’. I suspect that if God meant us to be anywhere else, that would be where we would be. There is more on how religions ‘work’ in Chapter 6, below.
Why list the P&C attributes out? (5.17)
The attributes are listed out because it becomes much easier to identify what others are doing and why, as well as what you are doing and why. This helps you to know yourself better.
You can also ‘unravel’ them by applying some opposites which can be quite entertaining at times, eg, if someone is proclaiming that they are ‘nobly’ ‘serving’ ‘the world’, you could consider that person as possibly ‘ignobly’ ‘taking’ for ‘their own self’. Cynical, possibly, but certainly useful at times.
However, remember that this is your/my thinking in this example; it may or may not be true/correct about them.
And an anti-P&C list would be? (5.18)
The TISP list is a good start. Once again, how much are you wanting P&C and why, and how much does your life align with the Life side of the opposites list?
Conclusion so far. (5.19)
P&C is a ‘story’ that is wrong on all counts if what we actually want is Love/TISP. That story is killing us and we are absolutely heading in the wrong direction.
The fear is, of being ‘out of control’, as well as ‘Life is out to get me’, (and I want to run), so I’ll try to control it as much as I can. But the crux is that this is an underlying belief that will be mirrored back to you from Life (ML). Hence, believing this stuff is not and cannot be useful for your happiness.
This controlling attitude leads to victim/bully and domination and more and more P&C; it’s a vicious cycle. This is fed by our religious teachings which are frankly modeled on P&C. Our idea of God is P&C.
In fact, you are out of control, because you are not meant to be in control, but life is not out to get you. God is not P&C; She is part of all Life, and we are part of Her. In general, She’s that small quiet voice inside that we might not even hear, let alone acknowledge. How invisible, ‘unreal’ and ‘powerless’ is that?
Now I wish to look more closely at some of the P&C attributes to consider what they actually mean.
More about some of the P&C attributes.
Adulation and worship.
Adulation and worship tend to be close together when we give the adulated great importance in our lives.
Adulation. (5.20)
Adulation is the next step along from admiration and implies that the giver considers themself a great deal less in comparison. It implies that I cannot or may not be able to be like that. It’s a belittling, an abasement, and a downgrading of your own self and is bad for you, ie, it’s not useful in terms of your being able to find your own abilities for yourself. Thus, you need to watch out.
This is not good for the adulation giver, and a lot of people do this. Hence, a great many people are giving what energy they do have to causes/reasons that have no concern for them; they will get no energy back. My argument being that adulation of the BC who is apparently superior has an ‘inferior’ sitting behind it; (you are feeling ‘inferior’ yourself in comparison and thus will admire ‘superior’). The level of adulation is reflecting the degree of distance between the adulated and the adulator. So, the question is, ‘who is being inferior?’ because that is an awful lot of people.
Worship. (5.21)
When we worship something or someone (a ’whatever’ of supposed authority) we are giving this ’whatever’ great importance in our lives. We pay attention.
We consider it ‘bigger’ than we are (because we are ‘little’) and that it knows more than we do, both of which we think gives it more control over life. So, we think it has the answers and knows what to do about life, and it can fix our problems which will then go away; and with even greater luck we will be ‘rescued’ completely from these problems.
We also tend not to question this ‘whatever’, in case that might leave us out in the cold and stop us getting ‘rescued’. In general, children ‘worship’ their parents.
Thus, we do what it tells us to do, ie, we submit, and it is in this way that we put our trust and faith in that ‘whatever’; it has become a ‘god’ to us. Think how much we worship money. (Also, we address the judge in a court of law as ‘your worship’.)
What’s wrong with these? (5.22)
What’s wrong with letting this ‘whatever’ be bigger, more knowledgeable, and more in control than we are, and then ‘fix’ us or even rescue us, is that these are the conditions of the child expecting ‘the parent’ to look after them.
As you think and stay as a child expecting others or ‘out there’ to look after you, you will feel powerless and afraid, and unable to develop your own resources or direction for empowering yourself, as in, ‘grow up’. Notice also that the more we are rescued, the less we are able to find any power for ourselves.
Hence, the more we are afraid of life, the more we will worship anything that we think might ‘rescue’ us. We look to ‘experts’ in ‘whatever’ and in so doing, give up our own thinking, observations and experiences in life, ie, our history, and we negate/dismiss/disempower our own selves. Thus, we turn our heads off and do not question ‘whatever’ and as we do that, we turn ourselves into ‘Chicken Little’ (’the sky is falling’) and our fears are ruling us. And notice that the more we are afraid, (and angry) the more we will do as we are told, but we might not get rescued.
As long as we want to be rescued, we are belittling ourselves and our own abilities.
On the other hand, we are here to learn and be given direction, but from Life as our ‘other’, not just ‘experts’.
Over various lifetimes we get some solid lessons about not being ‘rescued’ by whatever we thought could, would or should; sometimes it’s quite the opposite. This is a source of some of our major complaints about life.
The warning signs here are how much P&C in whatever form expects you to be the grateful, obedient, and unquestioning child in the face of their ‘caring’, ‘nobility’ or ‘expertise’, (BC words) and gets quite shitty if you don’t. P&C doesn’t like ‘uppity’ people.
The words ‘there is no other way’ from someone with authority can also be a useful warning sign here. There is always another way, although they all have consequences.
The worship of money and technology. (5.23)
In our society a primary example of ‘whatevers’ of authority would be money and P&C, with management/science/medicine/technology a close second. These things ‘count’ with us and we respect them, and allow their proponents to teach us and influence us, and we think that it will solve all our problems, as in, ‘fix’ everything.
Think about how much we pay attention to and expect (trust and have faith) that money, power, medicine, science, or technology will fix all our current problems whether personal or social. We turn our heads off and accept all this ‘expertise’ without questioning it at all, regardless of our own observations or experiences. We are trusting them.
To repeat, we are trusting what we are told and we don’t query it at all. But we must not trust those who are ‘selling’ us anything or frightening us into believing them; we know this as ‘buyer beware’; their information is never unbiased.
In this way, we are in fact making these people/institutions into our gods, and in doing so we ignore and disrespect human beings, Life and God; we are not paying attention to them at all. Notice also that these ‘gods’/things are all man-made, and even more interestingly, there is no living energy in any of them.
Putting money before people gets us into terrible trouble trying to work out the worth or value of people (judgement – again). While most ‘developed’ countries continue to espouse concepts of people as valuable, our current social systems are devaluing, devoicing and marginalizing minorities more each day, by labeling them crazy, lazy or stupid; ie, what societies say and what they/we do become even further apart.
The Greek gods. (5.24)
Notice how much society’s ‘beautiful’ people resemble the pantheon of the Greek gods, and they get worshipped indeed. And notice how much they consider themselves immortal and all powerful, while behaving ‘no better than they ought to’ as my Nanna used to say. Notice also how little they contribute to ordinary mortals; they are much more likely to want to keep it all to themselves with various forms of nasty punishment for those who didn’t toe the line eg, the punishment given to Prometheus for giving fire to humans. You won’t get any help from them. And notice how our politicians wish to join the ‘heavenly pantheon’ of the worshipped too; so, there you go.
The first commandment? (5.25)
But we have the biblical instruction of, ”Thou shalt worship no other gods before me”. So, what’s this one about?
There are two warnings here. Worship only God, and don’t worship anything else.
So, don’t make gods of anything or anyone else, eg, people, planets, graven images etc., etc., not to mention P&C/money/technology; it’s bad for it/them and bad for you.
But also, be careful not just of what you worship, but what ‘worship’ means for you.
But aren’t we supposed to worship God and abase ourselves because we are naturally dreadful sinners (but we don’t know how) and we must placate him otherwise we won’t be ‘saved’? (This is ‘God’ as ‘Father’ as P&C here.)
This is where worship and adulation become mixed up in terms of if we are worshipping ‘whatever’ then adulation on our part is required, because the gap between the adulator and adulated is so great. This is what we are taught by religions as part of ‘worshipping’ God as a primary necessity for life and avoiding ‘punishment’. But this is happening because we can only conceive of God as P&C, as in, Worship Him because He has control over you, and you are a small nothing. But also, you would like to be rescued from life, and thus able to remain as a child.
But God is actually warning us that worshipping ‘whatevers’ of anything other than Herself and Life (GLS = your InSelf) is not useful for you; (She does actually know what She is talking about, and She knows perfectly well how our minds work; hence the warning). However, She is not the slightest bit interested in our adulation. She doesn’t need or want it, and it’s not good for us to think this way.
‘Dreadful sinners’ implies that we are faulty or mis-cast or hopeless as we are, but this point of view implies that we are not of God and never can be, unless God decides to want us. Such an attitude/teaching leaves us as disempowered, hapless suppliants placating forever and wanting to be ‘rescued’ – very P&C.
Life is always going to be bigger than any single human being, but it’s kind of an insult to God to think that She makes ‘broken’ anythings. Does She need to forgive Herself? Human beings are meant to be human beings and perfectly powerful for themselves. Life on Earth is for them to find out how to do it consciously. God does not consider us nothings; this is non-sense. Do you consider what you truly create from the heart, nothing? Imagine how much thinking would be required to dream up the amazingness of the human being.
There is no huge gap between you and God; you are part of God, or you wouldn’t be wanting to be like God. But it is still useful to ‘worship’ Her. She is still a ‘parent’ in terms of ‘bigger’ and ‘wiser’, but you are not supposed to remain as a child, or you will just stay angry/afraid. Your part is to find your own powers for your-self and come into partnership with Her.
So then, what would this sort of ‘worship’ be?
Well, worship without adulation would be a start, and choosing to worship things of God, namely with a living energy, would be another indicator. Add to this that if you are ‘worshipping’ whatever correctly, you will submit to what it tells you; you are allowing that whatever to give you information about life. However, ‘submit’ has too many connotations of P&C sitting in there. But another word that could be used would be ‘understanding’ which is actually a ‘submit’ word, as in, ‘standing under’.
Thus, a useful answer could be “Worship what is Loved and Lives”, which includes all of God’s Creations because She Loves them; they’re Her creations; (you don’t have to love them; think of how many ‘weeds’ are really useful medicinal herbs, but you might like being healed, and it is very useful to you to understand them). Thus, you will be submitting to God, Life, and your Self and increasing your understanding of Life. This kind of ‘worship’ would include awareness of what you are putting your faith and trust in.
So, if the instruction were to be to “Understand your InSelf (which is also = God, Life or Self, for you)” how would you do that? Well, for example, you could learn about looking after your body (= your InSelf = GLS) properly as well as you can for your own sake (see Sacred). Also, using natural/living remedies to help yourself is a far more useful version of ‘worship’ for both your self/body and God.
[Incidentally, what God has tried to warn us about are the consequences of how we use or give our energy, or where our attention goes, or how energy works, (ML) but since we can’t even begin to conceive that God gets to fit in with these Herself, we can’t hear the warning.God has discovered things about the properties of Energy that She finds amazing, extremely interesting, endlessly fascinating, absorbing and fun. She wants us to have that fun as well because it’s more fun for her. [Energy is our universal ‘ground’ or ‘matrix’ or our ‘background’ or the water we swim in; ‘the fish doesn’t know the water’.]
There is a ‘bow down and worship and rejoice in God’ bit, but that is about Her having worked out how everyone can join in this mighty business of Explore Energy and Express Self and Create Life. It is a whopping win-win situation and in fact, very clever and probably took a fair old while to work out.]
The idea then is to be careful where your energy comes from and where it goes to.
An antidote to adulation could be ‘I appreciate your abilities; now I wish to get back to developing my own’. Debasing/belittling yourself is a waste of everyone’s time; yours in particular; so, don’t.
The 10 commandments. (5.26)
We are taught the 10 ‘commandments’ as ‘Thou shalt not do … xyz’ which we interpret as we ‘must’ not, hence these are commands to us.
But if we interpret the ‘thou shalt not do’ as ‘in future, you won’t be interested in doing this xyz’ or ‘you won’t want to do xyz’, we could consider these ‘commands’ as ‘signposts’ that we are heading in the right direction for ourselves. ‘Right direction’ or ‘right living’ is here defined as living correctly for yourself and in increasing alignment and relationship with your ‘Higher Self’ or GLS or InSelf.
Thus, ‘thou shalt worship no other gods before me’ becomes, ‘as you come into alignment with GLS you won’t be interested in worshipping anything other than God or Life’.
In this way, the 1st commandment of ‘worshipping no other gods before me’ becomes the signpost of ‘you won’t be expecting to be fixed or ‘rescued from life’ by ‘out there’ if the ‘whatever’ has no life energy of itself and/or is man-made’. Instead, you will have a good idea of how to carry out your own ‘fixing’ for yourself, and/or not need ‘fixing or rescuing’ in the first place.
Another way of saying this is that you are increasingly able to provide your own energy for yourself and won’t need it from ‘out there’, as in, you are growing up and becoming more adult and less frightened of life.
Thus, if you are actually wishing/wanting to do anything that the 10 commandments say ‘don’t’, then it’s an indicator that you are out of alignment/kilter with GLS.
We also look even harder for P&C when we’re afraid we don’t have any.
One of the ways we try to do this is through ‘believe-ins’, as in, ‘believe it and you’ll see it’.
‘Believe-ins’ as a form of control. (5.27)
There is a difference between a ‘belief’ and a ‘knowing’ but we get them a bit mixed up at times.
We have beliefs internally, of which we may or may not be aware, that are reflected back to us by Life so that we can work out what we are thinking at the unconscious. These beliefs are often decisions we made about life in previous lives, which are reinforced by our circumstances in this life. The thing is that these ‘beliefs’ feel like ‘knowings’ entirely because ‘out there’ is reflecting them back to us, so they seem ‘true’. We’re ‘seeing’ it out there, so it must be true.
There are also ‘beliefs’ from out there that we may wish could be true for us. This pertains to religious and New Age thinking such as ‘believe it and you will see it’, or ‘if you are ‘good/spiritual enough’ nothing bad will happen to you’. (Watch the opera ‘Tosca’ to see this one not working.)
This is very similar to ‘If you believe ‘hard enough’ in God, nothing ‘bad’ will happen to you’, or ‘If you believe ‘hard enough’ in whatever, it will become true’, etc, etc. With all ‘failures’ here meaning that you weren’t ‘believing’ sufficiently. (An insurance scheme with insufficient payments?)
We also keep forgetting another saying that goes ‘if wishes were horses, beggars would ride’.
Such ‘believe-ins’ are advocated as a way to happiness etc, as in, they can be used as a strategy to get what you want, ie, to control Life by getting the ‘good’ and not the ‘bad’. This is the ‘power of positive thinking’, or ‘mind over matter’, and so on, as if we can control it all with our mind. Yes, well, we do like to have high opinions of ourselves.
The problem with any belief is that your dis-belief has to be suppressed, by definition.
Wanting to believe an external belief means suppressing your own dis-belief. This external ‘belief’ or ‘teaching’ is a program from outside; it is at your outself/conscious only. You do not ‘know’ it (at your InSelf/unconscious), ie, it is not true within. You haven’t been able to find it for yourself and thus cannot know it as true for you. You have been told/taught it and in this way ‘it’ is someone else’s answer.
What often happens is that people who aspire to ‘believe in’ such things as ‘god’s love’ or ‘abundance’ are adopting these things as ‘wants’ at the conscious (outself) level as an antidote (read opposite) to how they really feel (read unconscious) about Life, (ie, not love and not abundance).
Thus, the outself wants to believe in such things while the InSelf actually does not believe them; these things are not true for it. This sets up a fight between them where the outself is trying to dominate/control the InSelf.
So, we do ‘If I believe hard enough it will all work out the way I want’, and ‘I’ll just shut my eyes to anything that tells me otherwise’, sometimes with disastrous consequences (shutting your eyes is actually just another way of ‘killing the messenger’). A very common example of this is people using the ‘power of belief’ to wish themselves wellness in the face of severe illness. In fact, the words ‘I am fighting this illness’ with the ‘power of belief’ are often used. It’s the words ‘fight’ and ‘believe’ that are telling you what is actually happening.
Notice also that judgement is still sitting in the middle of all of this. At no stage are we prepared to have a look at, much less address the thing that we want to go away, ie, the ‘dis-believe in’. This is actually a resistance to life as well as an attempt at control. But, “What you resist, persists”. If your actuality is not in alignment with what you want, this is not an invitation or a ‘test’ to ‘believe harder’; it’s actually an invitation to consider what your InSelf (GLS) might be wanting to tell you.
It is possible to change a belief and Life will reflect that new belief.
But, and this is a big but, this change has to occur at the unconscious, by definition. And the unconscious (InSelf) will not accept or change a belief unless it is congruent for it. Thus, what is ‘congruent’? It means that any change will have to ‘fit in’ or be in line with our Soul’s objectives and current understandings of life, which are generally based on its previous experiences in life.
So, for ‘believe it and you will see it’, iff the belief change has occurred at the unconscious you will see it, and begin to believe it and eventually know it. But ‘seeing’ this means that you check/observe whether Life and/or your body agree with what you want to believe since they are telling you what is actually going on with your unconscious.
Failure on your part to achieve this ‘seeing’ does not mean you haven’t believed ‘hard enough’. It simply means you need to go and talk to your unconscious, not bash it into submission. In fact, your unconscious wants to tell you what it wants, so face your issues because they are what need to be addressed and they can be, but only by looking at them and addressing them in a ‘partnership’ way. This is how we begin any relationship, by facing the issue and addressing it. Getting help can also be very useful.
The ‘Belief Changes’ technique is part of the NLP (NLP= Neuro Linguistic Programming) suite of tools, as is the ‘6-Step Reframe’ which addresses internal congruence issues. The Treasure Tool outlined later is also useful, as are others.
Also, some beliefs need more than one go to ‘bust’ them, especially if they are part of complexes, so sometimes you just have to look at the issues again and go deeper. As with all things with the unconscious, treat all your issues with respect.
In fact, you can use your fear that what you want to believe is not true, to show you what you do want.
As a clarifying example, try ‘I want to believe I am loved by God’. The fear would be ‘I don’t feel loved’ and the fear shows me that ‘I want love’. That is what needs to be addressed because that is the issue. The ‘believe-in’ is a mental strategy (think Spirit) for a Soul problem. (An even deeper fear might be ‘if I don’t love God or if God doesn’t love me, I’ll go to hell’. There is often more than one layer to excavate.)
In the end, ‘believe-ins’ can be another version of P&C, but this time you are trying to force your InSelf to comply with your outself; an internal P&C rather than an external P&C. But it’s still P&C.
Affirmations may or may not belong here. Once again, the result is dependent upon their truth at your unconscious (InSelf) level. If it is true/correct internally, it has to ‘show up’ externally in the physical realm as the reflection of your InSelf (not your outself), ie, you will ‘attract it’. In effect, you will be able to see it. This is what the ‘Law of Attraction’ is talking about; because it is basically a ‘mirroring’ law, but what is always being mirrored is your InSelf (unconscious) not your outself (conscious) (ML).
But it is also possible for the superiority to get worse, and then we know it as despising and/or contempt. And the inferiority gets worse too; a real pickle.
Stage 3. Despising. (5C)
This is the stage where Superiority has increased to Despising and Contempt.
Thus, according to the mechanism of the Mirror Laws, the despiser is not only despising others but also despising their own InSelf and the Self-Pity increases. The Split between outself and InSelf is now huge.
These mechanisms are of course unconscious, and are thus not always easy to recognize, particularly if the despiser is reasonably socially adept and can say nice (to lovely) things in an appropriate manner (charm), ie, put on a nice ‘face’.
We have, as part of our cultural heritage, Greek myths that are very good at describing human characteristics, and if we know how to interpret them properly are as relevant for us today as they ever were.
One of these myths is that of Perseus killing the gorgon Medusa who is someone to be afraid of, so, who/what is she?
The Medusa. (5.28)
Medusa is a monster who has a beautiful (read ‘nice/lovely’) face surrounded by ‘hair’ of snakes.
Anyone who looked at her face was ‘turned to stone’. Perseus (the hero) was only able to kill her by using a mirror to make sure he could see her without looking at her directly. Medusa herself had been a normal mortal, but had been turned into a gorgon (read ‘monster’) because she was sacrilegious and treated the temple of a goddess without respect.
There is a great deal of information in this story, which is why I am discussing it.
The ‘lovely’ face = the lovely social face that you see or the nice things they may say.
The ‘hair of snakes’ = this person thinks despising ‘snaky’ things, because that is what they are thinking in their head about you, and they will feel justified (full of self-pity) in saying poisonous ‘snaky’ things to you which bite/hurt. Being bitten by a snake means that it not only hurts, but it is poisonous and the poison/venom stays there inside you in your blood/emotion. It’s hidden, as in, we can’t see what’s happening; we can only feel it. It is also very damaging and very difficult to get rid of. Being despised by someone ‘poisons’ us in a hidden and insidious manner.
‘Turned to stone’ = a stuck lump; stymied; this person cannot ‘move’.
Those who have had a serious dose of despising do not know what to do or in which direction to move. Nothing they do or are is good enough. This leaves them seriously stuck. Being on the receiving end of such an enormous difference between the ‘nice’ face of the gorgon and being seriously hurt/bitten/poisoned is also extremely confusing, and that also helps to leave them stuck. The person has only looked at or focused on the nice face and has ‘buried’ the biting/poison because of the pain.
‘Monster’ is a warning that this person has become inhuman and you need to beware of them.
‘Desecration of the temple’. This person cannot treat another person or aspect of Life as sacred. There is and can be no respect for you or your needs. You are being ab-used and it is the despising/contempt that promotes this ab-use.
A definition of Ab-use would be; using another without respect for that person’s ‘being’ or needs; respect being also part of Love, (although I didn’t put it into TISP). No-one or no-thing is good enough to respect, and also no-one can provide the amount of pity wanted by those full of self-pity. The only use/need for you is to be used for whatever assets you may provide (= used up) and for the despiser to compare themself with (and judge themself superior, of course). This is a desecration of ‘the other’.
Thus, this person may be starving for love, but they cannot be ‘fed’ by you or anyone else. All is comparison and judgement; there is no love here at all. They have become a bottomless pit and are a danger to all. You cannot show them love; you may love them, but they will not be able to ‘see’ it; all they know is judgement with self-pity with victim/bully. The Self-Pity is also a warning to stay away and check out your own. You yourself can’t and should not try to change a despiser, overtly or covertly; it’s not part of your brief to try to change anyone but yourself.
If you have been ‘poisoned’, you will need to heal yourself first to make sure you can learn to TISP your own InSelf, and that can take a lot of work. In fact, you have to get out of the situation in the first place, and that can be a lot of work too.
Being ‘poisoned’ means your InSelf is hurt and wounded and it stays there in your blood in your body which is by definition, unconscious. This must not be ignored; being despised too often is awful and serious in that it can kill life. I wonder how many ‘stuck’ people have had a dose of despising from an important and powerful ‘other’, eg, but not limited to, a parent. Healing is required. Consider the words ‘turned to stone’ and people on drugs being described as ‘stoned’; a good word for ‘stuckness’ which leaves me wondering about the level of despising within some families.
Sacred and sacrilegious; using and abusing/exploiting. (5.29)
Medusa was a normal person who became a monster when/because she treated a goddess’ temple with disrespect.
Desecration of a goddess’ temple occurs when we don’t/can’t treat Life or god/desses with awe and respect, (we say to ourselves this is ‘nothing but’ xyz, ie we are ‘thinging’ them and thus, discounting them), usually because we’re busy taking what we can from it/them. It’s like treating all Life as our ‘prey’; only there for our own purposes; it doesn’t have a life or power of its own. This is the sacrilege and it does turn us into ‘monsters’.
Sacred. (5.30)
[In this discussion I am using the word ‘something’ to include things as well as people.]If something is sacred for us, it matters to us, we value it, we feel it deeply, and we respect that feeling. (It helps us feel ‘bigger’ or more real, or more connected to Life.) That particular thing has something to say to us. We set that thing apart for its sake and for our own. We also tend to look after it, ie maintain and protect it. There is a kind of submission to its needs, or to do as it ‘tells us’. We will Serve it. When we cannot respect this quality of sacredness, we commit sacrilege.
Respect? (5.31)
Respect is an attitude of allowing something to be, for its own sake, and we take its being into account in our decisions that may affect it. We are saying it exists, it is a ‘being’ and we are allowing it to have life or appreciate its/their energy or ‘beingness’. We respect another’s right to be as they are, as we wish others to respect our right to be as we are.
When we dismiss something as unimportant, it doesn’t matter and it doesn’t count, we are treating it as no-thing; it can’t ‘tell’ us anything, and we consider it has nothing to ‘say’ to us, and we have no feeling for it. We are ‘thinging’ it.
‘Thinging’ takes the life/energy/vibes out of whatever. It’s a disregard or disrespect for life, and brings to a full stop any possibility of that ‘thing’ communicating with us or showing us something about Life. Remember, all Life is showing you some aspect of Energy, because that is what it is and we are.
The more we ‘thing’ whatever, the easier it is to use or abuse it for our own purposes without considering that thing’s needs. Remember ML; if you’re not respecting them, you’re not respecting your inner self at a deep level.
All of us want others to treat us with respect. We don’t expect to love everything or everyone or for them to love us, but we do want respect from others for our own wishes and needs, ie, we want to be taken into account. If we want respect, we have to give it.
‘Critters’ and ‘Creatures’. (5.32)
It is currently becoming fashionable to refer to Creatures of Nature as ‘critters’. It’s supposed to be ‘cutesy’ and ‘affectionate’, but it’s a ‘be-littling’ and a ‘thinging’. All Creatures are created, and have a ‘being’ or an energy. This energy is sometimes referred to as a ‘medicine’ in North American Indian terms. This ‘medicine’ is referring to the energy of this creature, and its presence in our lives is a message/information for us. This ‘medicine’ is the way that Life speaks to us. The more we call it a ‘critter’, the less we consider that its energy has anything to say to us, and we can just ‘disappear’/ignore it; we don’t even bother to know its name; it has nothing to do with us. This makes a distance between us and it/them, and thus a greater disconnect from Nature and from Life. This is a disrespect, and our loss.
Apart from many insects that we love to hate, other vermin that we wish would go away would include the problem of any pest in any country, eg, cane toads in Australia. These pests are usually telling us something which surprisingly enough we would rather not hear, including that our ‘cleverness’ wasn’t and isn’t.
The differences between respect, worship and sacred. (5.33)
Respect is allowing that other the right to exist. It/they are part of Life. They may have information for you, but it is your choice to take notice. But, paying attention is a prerequisite to worship.
Worship is paying attention to the authority of God and Life (living things). Submit to its (GLS) information/directions to you because it has greater awareness/knowledge than you. It is bigger than you, but that does not be-little you.
Sacred is the submission to tending to the other thing’s needs for our own sake. We look after it, and it will serve us by helping us feel bigger in life. This can be useful depending on what is actually ‘growing bigger’, but as we treat Life as sacred, so we can help ourselves to grow as Life grows.
An example would be a man treating his wonderful car as sacred and giving it a lot of his energy, including paying for it. It ‘tells’ other people about some of the qualities of the owner. He tends to it, and serves it, and it actually serves him. If someone else dismissed it as unimportant or that it did not matter or count, he would be shocked, and even more so if it were damaged by another’s carelessness. [This behaviour gives many women ‘the willies’; would that this man were able to treat his own children (much less the wife) with such concern.]
This is an example where the ‘sacred’ is helping the man’s outself to feel ‘bigger’. Women call this ‘wanking’, because they know.
Another example of sacred could be a grove of wonderful trees that gives us feelings of relaxation and wonder. This can be for us humans a ‘growing’ of a different kind, because as we relax in this type of vibration our aura expands. This is actually very good for our body to experience, and rather different from our ‘norm’.
Sacrilege is the ‘dismissal’ or refusal to allow the sacred to affect us or to submit to it. The dismissal itself usually comes about because the sacred energy is simply not perceived. But essentially the sacrilege is a domination on our part, in that we are not allowing that life form to tell us about who/what it is, and we consider our own needs as more important. We are doing the deciding and we are placing our own needs/wants as ‘higher’; no submission here. We treat it as having no life to us; it’s a thing. We are treating it as nothing; no thing; it does not ‘matter’.
But the ML are there to remind us that as we do this to life, we are doing this to ourselves, and we won’t like the consequences one bit. We have blocked any chance of this aspect of life serving us. We are ‘dead’ to life, and Life has lost its point.
This is what Medusa was doing in the temple.
The Greek myths tell us that this is what gods and goddesses do to you to ‘punish’ you when you have done the wrong thing, but in fact, it’s Medusa’s own attitude to ‘the other’ that has turned her into a monster.
Thus, treating Life as Sacred means not only refraining from using things or people or Life (= the ‘other’) for your own purposes with no respect or appreciation for their needs; it also means submitting to this aspect of life’s needs or directives, which we do for our own sake.
When we do this, we are saying that this aspect of life ‘matters’ to us; we are making matter ‘matter’.
To repeat, treating Life as Sacred – all of it; ‘good’ and ‘bad’ – means ‘Behaving as if the God in All Life Mattered’ Wright (1987) because this is how you give all of ‘out there’, Life (= matter), and therefore you are giving it to your InSelf as well (because of ML), as in, you ‘matter’. And if you are making your InSelf ‘matter’ you will be giving Life to your InSelf.
This is a very important point which revolves around the word ‘matter’, which comes up a lot.
The primary problem with despising others is the unconscious despising of InSelf (’the internal other’). If it is not stopped it increases as we age, and the comparisons become ever greater, so much so that a despising person becomes more unhappy with lots of self-pity (a heavy energy) and will secretly hate people who are happy. Any higher, finer, lighter energy can actually give pain to the comparer, and they don’t want it and will discount or negate it, or get rid of it if they can. That person will ‘kill’ it either literally or figuratively.
Sacred energies are these lighter and finer energies and the comparer/judger does not want them in their life. This is the sacrilege; the energy is ignored, refused or negated, and the comparer/judger goes on comparing/judging. They cannot Serve the sacred and the sacred thing cannot serve them. Loss in all directions.
‘Thinging and abusing. (5.34)
Despising and its little mate, self-pity, can escalate to hatred and cruelty to self or others, and they do. But it is still coming out of P&C and that basic comparison, judgement, fear and blame and feeling a victim.
The problem with feeling a victim is the great anger, self-pity and the blaming of ‘Life, the Universe and Everything’. So that person feels justified in taking from life in whatever manner, including theft and revenge, etc. Taking from life = using something or someone with no regard or respect for that used thing’s needs. This taking from life is an abuse/exploitation, and the person doing the taking and abusing is becoming a bully. And, the more they feel a victim, the more they will bully. (Bully and victim go together as superior and inferior ‘travel’ together.)
Despising leads to abuse. (5.35)
As despising increases, the abuse of others increases. The despising leads to the abuse. The more we abuse someone, the more we tend to ‘thing’ them or vice versa. If anger has gone on to hate, the disrespect just increases, but now that person wishes to punish ‘the other’ and hurt it for being in their life. This leads on to cruelty, and looking for ways to ‘disappear’ that ‘other’. This is how the Nazis were able to behave as they did.
‘Thinging’ is the mechanism of domination, abuse and punishing. We are basically treating ‘the other’ as prey for our purposes only; the great taking from Life. The greater the ‘thinging’ of the other, the more that person is sociopathic, but remember that the person doing the ‘thinging’ has almost certainly been treated themself as a thing for some powerful other’s pleasure/satisfaction.
This is the mechanism for incest, violence and other violations of trust by someone who cannot do anything except P&C.
Also, notice that the more we treat people institutionally as ‘your name is a number’, the more we are prone to ‘thing’ them.
Confusion. (5.36)
Despising, contempt and hate can be overt/apparent or covert/hidden. If it is overt, at least you know where you stand and can avoid it if possible, but the main point about the Medusa is the confusion for the person on the receiving end of it. The Medusa has a lovely ‘face’ and the despising is covert, secret or unconscious, as in, hidden from you, but you will still feel it, because it hurts and poisons you. You are being ‘used’ for their own purposes in a disrespectful manner. This hurt and confusion is what leaves people stuck, and not knowing which way to move, ie, turned to stone (despising is essentially withering which stops growth). Others may consider your response to the Medusa irrational and are more likely to ignore your observations since they do not coincide with their own, (how could you possibly complain about such an apparently ‘lovely’ person?).
[Confusion is a primary indicator of being on the receiving end of lack of integrity, where integrity is about unifying what is said with what is done. As ‘saying’ and ‘doing’ become further apart, confusion increases for all concerned.]Being on the receiving end of serious ‘abuse’ is traumatic, especially if there is violence and cruelty (as ‘punishment’), and we understand that. But children who have experienced the Medusa, (the ‘loving’ ab-use/despising/sacrilege) end up seriously stuck in terms of not knowing what to do, and very angry or depressed at being wounded and starved of love. I suspect that they are much more likely to turn to addictions to whatever in their own search for love, but for them, their business is to ‘know’ their own ‘starving’ and learn how to ‘feed’/love themselves (= TISP InSelf) so that they can heal.
The Medusa in normal life. (5.37)
Any ‘loving’ environment where someone who is supposed to be loving/nurturing/protecting is doing the secret despising/abusing bit. [Ring any bells?] The home environment, persons of trust in institutional environments, churches where the ‘shepherd’ abuses the ‘lambs’, missionaries despising ‘the natives’ culture while ‘loving’ them, and so on and on.
Notice that, personal covert despising turns others to stone, and cultural covert despising turns other cultures to stone, eg, men’s treatment of women, or ‘whites’ of indigenous/’native’ peoples.
Remember that Perseus (the hero) had to look in the mirror to be able to see the Medusa properly so that he could be-head her (it was the way she was thinking that was so poisonous) and hence kill her. This metaphor can be taken both literally and figuratively, but is a good start for telling you how to begin what has to be done. Once she was dead, people were able to move. Thus, you begin with having to use a mirror to be able to ‘see’ her face correctly, ie, to see her properly and then to ‘kill’ her (stop the effect on you of her thinking) before you can become unstuck.
There’s an awful lot in this UUS about ‘using the mirror’ further on; see the Treasure Tool.
Socially, as the pressures of our times mount, despising increases along with intolerance. This is because our fears mount and despising comes out of fear as the root cause, as do all forms of P&C.
Monsters can happen. (5.38)
The moral of this story is that ab-using/exploiting Life is a sacrilege and does turn us into monsters! It’s perfectly possible for people to abuse/exploit others for their own ‘jollies’. Be aware.
The idea then is to beware of monsters and to heal yourself if you have tangled with one, because if you do not, you may become one yourself and pass it on; (this applies to the vampire stories as well; ditto paedophilia and other forms of abuse; the abused becomes the abuser; but, remember, this is unconscious stuff for them). You then also need to learn to protect yourself from them. You can’t stop a despiser from despising. You have to be your own hero, and use the mirror to ‘kill’ any despising you may have received which is stopping you from working out what you want to do in/with your life.
Note also that it is not axiomatic that all those abused or exploited when young necessarily pass it on. In fact, if you have not done such a thing after such a bad start, then you have achieved a great deal.
The P&C vs. TISP list above is a useful start for recognizing signs and symptoms.
Vampires. (5.39)
Vampires are frightfully fashionable at the moment, but I hope by now that you might be understanding that there is nothing romantic or exciting about living off others, ie, ‘sucking the other’s blood’ (people or animals) without taking their needs into consideration; this is also referred to as ‘preying’. Taking while giving nothing in return as well as attempting to avoid death is the recipe for boredom. The metaphor for blood is emotions, and vampires are immensely ‘cool’ because they have none. It is also true that if you can’t die, you can’t live either. (So many people have already said this; can we hear it?) The corollary to this is that there is nothing ‘noble’ about giving your blood to a vampire since this is the mechanism for becoming one yourself and thus a monster. The real question is, why would you be attracted to one in the first place? Get away, heal yourself, and find a life for yourself.
But there are other more ‘normal’ methods of ‘vampiring’ which happen when we watch TV and others’ suffering with no change or action on our part. We’re kind of just using it to know we’re not as bad as that, or looking for stimulation while we are bored. We are powerless and our energy just drains away. Much of the suffering in the ‘undeveloped’ worlds is because their own resources such as metals, oil or gas are stolen by ‘developed’ countries for their own products/use and comfort. And often with the direct use of the ‘stronger’ country’s own taxes, as in their population is paying for the exploitation of the ‘weaker’ country. ‘And look at all those civilians getting in the way – what a nuisance!’
No death. (5.40)
No death means no life. We need death to inform life, and in fact to become our guide to life. Defying death is not the way to go; facing death and forming a relationship with it is. Many people have said this before. Avoiding connection with the Soul leaves us soul-less which is what human beings who become ‘monsters’ are. We can avoid life and are allowed to do so, but eventually we become so bored and fed-up (but still empty) that we look for alternatives. Also, we can observe that others are having a better time of it. What do they do? Can we allow them to influence us, and so it goes; on with the explore…
Conclusion to Chapter 5. (5.41)
In how many ways can we get this wrong?
Doing Sup/Inf always gets us into trouble. Essentially, we are using our minds to look ‘out there’ and compare and judge, but as we do so we are also doing this to our own inner selves (ML). Hence, we end up with an increasing split between InSelf and outself, and all the consequences of that separation – no TISP and no Merge and an increased likelihood of pain and suffering.
We have this essential ability and requirement of our minds to compare and contrast. We need it to handle the dualities that energy provides which we call Life. It’s when we judge and its consequent blame that we get into trouble. This is what the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden is actually about; see Addendum 2. Our minds are a 2-edged sword. The disadvantage of judgement is the other side of the advantage of comparison and contrast for understanding.
The Sup/Inf model is the mechanism of how we set up the split/difference/distance between our 2 selves; the outself and the InSelf; conscious and unconscious. And this model of life is our ‘normal’ point of view. This is currently how we deal with life, but the whole point of such comparison and judgement is that it is always at the other’s expense and hence, yours! (because of ML). So, maybe, stop.
This UUS argues that the P&C part of the Superiority/Inferiority Caper is how we view Life/God and that it is the absolute opposite of Love. It comes out of the fear that life is out to get us which gets reflected back to us by Life because that’s what life is for; to reflect our attitudes coming from inside us back to us so that we can see them.
And it’s currently doing this ‘in spades’ you might say. If we change this internal attitude to a more useful understanding such as this UUS, by definition the world ‘out there’ has to change too and it can and does, with a little help from you. This help being your submission to Life, as in, you get to do the changing first, not life.
Trying to get up the ladder of Sup/Inf is what we are taught about and live in as ‘the fish lives in the water’, but we have almost no idea of the problems that come with our judging.
In the next chapter I look at how we cope with this ‘normal’ world of ours? How do we explain it to ourselves? What do we try to do with it, and how do we describe or label our thinking and behaviour?